Soul Care Conversation (Spirituality and Suffering)
February 22nd, 2016 Posted by Dave Smith Blog No Comment yet(The purpose of Soul Care Conversation is to create a place to generate dialogue, initiate thoughtful consideration for the challenges our veterans face each day, share ideas of veteran and family well-being and healing, and spark within all of us a call to be engaged with the veteran and caregiver community. Click here to visit the forum and join the conversation!)
Last week we began to explore the various components of spirituality and how it effects our veterans by trying to understand spirituality and meaning, the “why”. This week we will discuss spirituality and suffering, “why me?”
BACKGROUND
Sometimes under the stress of living and at times suffering, it is easy for us to lose sight of the meaning and purpose that steadies us and sees us through the difficult times. C. S.. Lewis, who watched his wife die a horrible death because of bone cancer states, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.”
Everyone’s experience in the midst of suffering will be different. I did not experience a shout from God, but silence. During those moments of fear and loss I asked, where was God in my times of suffering? At times it seemed that during my deepest yearnings of the soul I felt that God not only slammed the door in my face, but seemed to have bolted the door from the inside, not wanting me to enter spaces of grace and peace.
Suffering is one of the greatest challenges to our faith and to our spiritual well-being. There are many different ways to look at suffering through spirituality;
- suffering is a reason not to believe in a God who can allow pain, torment, and death, all too often experienced by the innocent
- suffering suggests guilt and thus punishment of a wrathful or vengeful God
- suffering is the work of God or the demonic
- suffering happens as a result of bad karma
- suffering is the result of a fallen and broken world, not caused by God
Of course, there are many other ways to look at suffering. In each situation suffering asks questions and may open doors for finding answers, whether through formal religious beliefs or in searching beyond our understanding of faith. There may be times when we ask questions and the door may remain closed and we will not find answers.
It does not matter which question suffering demands, there is the same question all people ask, “why me”? Most likely as we ask this question “why me”, we feel isolated because we either have turned away from God or we feel God has turned away from us. Where is God?
During the times in our attempts to find God we may search for hope through the scriptures, only to come across difficult texts to understand. The trials of Job may rekindle anger with God because we feel God plays games with our lives. Or, we come across Romans Chapter 5, “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,” and we feel that this seems unsympathetic to our suffering.
SUFFERING AND MEANING
The crux at understanding suffering is that it is not about finding an answer to “why me”. We find answers to suffering when we realize that it is in our emotional reaction to our physical difficulties, such as pain or loss. It is in how we react that we have the means to make meaning out of what may seem random and pointless. The experience of suffering is not uplifting, rather it is the ability to rise above the struggle.
In our conversation last week, we looked at the powerful testimony of Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl insists that meaning in life can be discovered under all circumstances, even in the most miserable experiences of tragedy and loss. He wrote that “Man is not destroyed by suffering; he is destroyed by suffering without meaning“. He noted when writing about concentration camp victims that survival itself depended on seeking and finding meaning.
People cope with their suffering by finding meaning in their suffering. This is where spirituality plays such a critical role. It is the relationship with the Holy that gives meaning and purpose to people’s lives, to their joys, and to their sufferings.
St. John of the Cross helps us understand suffering as a way of growth: “There is another reason why the soul walks securely in these darknesses: it advances by suffering. Suffering is a surer and even more advantageous road than that of joy and action. First, in suffering God gives strength to the soul…second, in suffering, virtues are practiced and acquired and the soul is purified….”
From the Christian point of view, discussions about God and suffering always lead to the cross where Jesus suffered. In the cross God demands no more for humanity than God demands from Self. Jesus suffered not to save us from suffering, but to teach us how to bear our own suffering. In this, our suffering draws us closer to God.
There is another way we can find meaning in our suffering. The letters of Saint Paul contain a number of references to suffering, such as the second letter to the Corinthians. Paul writes that God comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. God does this in order for us to help others, so that we can be sympathetic and understanding. In doing so we can be of help and comfort to those who suffer.
CONSIDERATIONS TOWARD HEALING
Spirituality does the following;
- seeks healing
- seeks a connection to the Holy
- influences how a person lives
Spirituality is the dimension of human beings that seeks healing. Often spirituality is expressed as religion. For many people religion forms a basis of meaning and purpose in life. The profoundly disturbing effects of trauma can call into question a person’s purpose in life and work. Healing, the restoration of wholeness, requires an answer to the question, what is my purpose in life.
Spirituality links people to the Holy or to something beyond ourselves. Spirituality may provide ways to cope through suffering by;
- either being healed
- or a peace of mind if healing does not come
Spirituality and religion usually influence how a person lives, how he or she reacts to stressful situations and how well and how quickly a person recovers from emotional strain. A spiritual or religious orientation is associated with better mental health as understood by documented research. It can help increase self-esteem, find meaning in life, improve family and special relationships, and decrease drug and alcohol abuse.
We must consider another important factor, sin-based suffering is far more terrible that mere physical pain. Anxiety and depression result. Even when we do nothing wrong we are still haunted with guilt and shame. Just the perception of doing wrong can create intense guilt. Moral injury and soul wounds can have a deep effect on the warrior. Healing begins when we can forgive ourselves for perceived or actual events.
As this is true, so is the fact that humans are capable of doing the right thing. It says that out of suffering can come love. Love can become the balm that begins to heal the fear and pain. Spirituality provides a means for a veteran to find peace even in the midst of living in hell.
Our next conversation we will look at a theology of healing. Until then, thank you for the conversation…